...And Thanks To Anyone Else That We Forgot

Dear Avid Reader,

I was having a conversation with my friend Jay yesterday. We were talking about different things and I brought up the fact that I was writing on my blog and that I was discussing Preemptive Thinking. He remembered that I had brought the subject up to him before and asked if I remembered that he had thought of Preemptive Listening as an addition to my thesis. I said that I had, but then something terrible dawned on me...

I had used some of his thoughts on Preemptive Listening in my post on Compassion. Most of the post was stuff that I had come up with, but I began to feel guilty. I felt as though I had given Trey his credit in the post but not Jay. What kind of a friend was I? I completely neglected his contribution.

Then I became paranoid.

All of my posts, ideas, any thought that I had ever had, what if they all were merely thefts of someone else's creativity? Had I had an original thought, ever? Forever? Forever ever? Forever ever ever?

But then I began to lawyer up. "I'd been the first to post it," I thought, "Publish or perish I always say." More people heard me say it first, I had more witnesses, and math matters in big precedence cases like these, right? I had him right where I wanted him.

But then the "crazy pills" started wearing off and I began to float back to reality. This is just a idiotic blog. Because there was no money involved, there probably wouldn't be a trail. Nobody wants to fight over principle, only over money. Then I began to hear a song in my head.

I don't know what they want from me
It's like the more money we come across
The more problems we see

B.I.G., Notorious (1997). Excerpts from Mo' Money Mo' Problems. Life After Death. Retrieved 11/03/2005 from Lyrics Mansion

Biggie always makes me philosophical. Something in the beat or something in the "mad rhymes" perhaps. I began to wander away from the semantics of who started the idea, to the core of the issue. Maybe my conscience could be completely soothed if I could destroy the entire premise of having original thought. I wondered, have any thoughts ever been established without some other thought to build off of? I mean, where do thoughts come from?

Pistol-whip Epistemology

The answer is called epistemology. Epistemology is a school of philosophy concerning how we can come to know. There are two main, rival branches: a priori & a posteriori. A priori knowledge is knowledge that is derived from reason alone. A posteriori knowledge is knowledge that is arrived at by experience.

After I remembered this I asked myself some questions. Were the thoughts that I wrote universally apparent to me, indeed all humans, before I stated them? Or did I need the experience of Jay's conversation before I could arrive at them?

I became worried again.

I began to lose all perspective. I was spiraling out of control. The post became a ticking time-bomb in my mind. Jay could sense the tension in my voice. I cracked under his interrogation of, "What's up, dude?"

I confessed my sins trying desperately to throw the albatross from my neck. I begged for his mercy. "Oh pity me my brother," I cried, "I have wronged you by not providing a complete APA format citation of your contribution to my posts. Indeed, I have not even included you as a footnote. I beg forgiveness!"

"Rise," he said, "I don't know if you are rising because we're on the phone, but I'll assume you've risen."

He needn't have worried. I stood at attention, awaiting my punishment. Beaten with whips? Reeds? A firing squad perhaps?

He continued, "We are friends. Even if you were to publish these thoughts, I am more interested in the conversations that we have. As long as they continue, I don't care who gets credit for what."

I cracked a smile. My heart leapt! I had gained forgiveness from my brother!

...and little does he know, I recorded the whole thing.

My book is coming out in December and now he's not getting a penny.

Muhahahahahaha!

The Next Post Promises To Be Better,

James