Preemptive Thinking
Dear Avid Reader,
I'd like to discuss with you a theory that I have been toying with. It's called Preemptive Thinking.
Preemptive thinking is similar to thinking before you speak (TBYS), but it takes TBYS a little further. I'll explain.
Say you are at a grocery store. You've selected your items and are ready to leave. Your goal is to pay for your items and leave. Most often, the fastest completion of this goals is the preferred tactic and that is the tactic you have decided to take.
So, you saunter up to the front of the store and there are two lanes: Lane A and Lane B. Both lanes are manned and the attendants are currently checking out customers, but only Lane A has their "light on" (you know, the light above the check out line to indicate if a lane is open). You assume that the attendant at Lane B has just completed her shift, and you make the decision to get at the end of Lane A.
But, after the Lane B attendant has finished with her current customer, she looks to you and says, "I can get you right here"
You say, "O.K....I would have come over here earlier but your light was off."
To me, you have just made a mistake. By making that comment you have derailed your goal of getting out of here as soon as possible. How have you derailed it? That question can be answered when we look at what your potential reason behind making the statement is. Here are the two most common reasons:
1) You don't want the attendant to think you are an idiot.
This reason has no root in reality. It has everything to do with vanity.
You see, the attendant has a goal too. That goal is to get you out of here as soon as possible so that she can do something else. Therefore you and her have goal compatibility and the last thing she wants to do is make you change your goal. It is right in line with her goal. Whatever line you were in, for whatever reason doesn't matter, she just wants to help. If she can't understand that you have made a choice based on information that she has given you in the form of a light being off, then in fact she is the idiot. Not you.
But let's step back even further. Is it reasonable to think that this person will remember that you were in a longer line and not a shorter one the next time you meet? There really is no concern here because the attendant will never remember your face. She checks people out all of the time. The only way she will remember you, is if you do something memorable. One example of this might be telling her the obvious like her light is off. So you have actually accomplished the opposite of what you intended by making yourself conspicuous.
You have won the battle but you have lost the war. You have showed the attendant that you are not an idiot, but rather, a jerk. To explain this angle further, let's go to point two...
2) You want to help her by pointing out that she has her light off.
Alright, so you want to help. That's cool. But by making that comment, you have gone on the offensive which will make her go on the defensive. She wanted to help, and you respond with a remark that details a potential mistake. Now she is not only less inclined to hear your suggestion, but now she is less likely to help you with your main goal: to leave quickly with your purchases. So when you decided that helping with the "light on" situation was more or of equal importance to your goal of leaving, you have actually hurt yourself on both fronts.
This second reason (helping), to me, is actually a smoke screen reason for the first reason (idiot). The reason I feel this way is because if the real concern is that the light is off, there are better tactics than just blurting it out as soon as you realize that the lane is open. You would probably wait until the transaction was almost complete (goal 1) and then inform the attendant in a sort of subtle way. This would allow the attendant to save face if they forgot to turn it on and it would not embarrass them.
Moving on...
So we see that the effects of making the remark are actually harmful rather than helpful despite the intentions. Your primary goal was subverted because you decided that one/both of these secondary goals were more important that your initial one at that particular moment. If you would have thought about how your statement was actually going to effect the attendant, you may have chosen a different course of action.
This is the main thrust of preemptive thinking. Each time you speak, you either bring yourself closer to completing a goal, or you move yourself further away. There are NO neutral communications. None. Saying nothing is the only communication that has no value unless it is in response to a direct question. In which case, silence is usually seen as negative.
Preemptive Thinking asks that you look at the effect of what you say has on a goal. Does the statement relate directly to the task at hand? If not, what will the potential drag of the statement have on my goal. If I am not sure, is it worth the risk?
Like chess, try and think a move ahead. If the what you are about to say doesn't help you directly and immediately, then the statement will always hurt you directly and immediately. Always.
I'd like to discuss with you a theory that I have been toying with. It's called Preemptive Thinking.
Preemptive thinking is similar to thinking before you speak (TBYS), but it takes TBYS a little further. I'll explain.
Say you are at a grocery store. You've selected your items and are ready to leave. Your goal is to pay for your items and leave. Most often, the fastest completion of this goals is the preferred tactic and that is the tactic you have decided to take.
So, you saunter up to the front of the store and there are two lanes: Lane A and Lane B. Both lanes are manned and the attendants are currently checking out customers, but only Lane A has their "light on" (you know, the light above the check out line to indicate if a lane is open). You assume that the attendant at Lane B has just completed her shift, and you make the decision to get at the end of Lane A.
But, after the Lane B attendant has finished with her current customer, she looks to you and says, "I can get you right here"
You say, "O.K....I would have come over here earlier but your light was off."
To me, you have just made a mistake. By making that comment you have derailed your goal of getting out of here as soon as possible. How have you derailed it? That question can be answered when we look at what your potential reason behind making the statement is. Here are the two most common reasons:
1) You don't want the attendant to think you are an idiot.
This reason has no root in reality. It has everything to do with vanity.
You see, the attendant has a goal too. That goal is to get you out of here as soon as possible so that she can do something else. Therefore you and her have goal compatibility and the last thing she wants to do is make you change your goal. It is right in line with her goal. Whatever line you were in, for whatever reason doesn't matter, she just wants to help. If she can't understand that you have made a choice based on information that she has given you in the form of a light being off, then in fact she is the idiot. Not you.
But let's step back even further. Is it reasonable to think that this person will remember that you were in a longer line and not a shorter one the next time you meet? There really is no concern here because the attendant will never remember your face. She checks people out all of the time. The only way she will remember you, is if you do something memorable. One example of this might be telling her the obvious like her light is off. So you have actually accomplished the opposite of what you intended by making yourself conspicuous.
You have won the battle but you have lost the war. You have showed the attendant that you are not an idiot, but rather, a jerk. To explain this angle further, let's go to point two...
2) You want to help her by pointing out that she has her light off.
Alright, so you want to help. That's cool. But by making that comment, you have gone on the offensive which will make her go on the defensive. She wanted to help, and you respond with a remark that details a potential mistake. Now she is not only less inclined to hear your suggestion, but now she is less likely to help you with your main goal: to leave quickly with your purchases. So when you decided that helping with the "light on" situation was more or of equal importance to your goal of leaving, you have actually hurt yourself on both fronts.
This second reason (helping), to me, is actually a smoke screen reason for the first reason (idiot). The reason I feel this way is because if the real concern is that the light is off, there are better tactics than just blurting it out as soon as you realize that the lane is open. You would probably wait until the transaction was almost complete (goal 1) and then inform the attendant in a sort of subtle way. This would allow the attendant to save face if they forgot to turn it on and it would not embarrass them.
Moving on...
So we see that the effects of making the remark are actually harmful rather than helpful despite the intentions. Your primary goal was subverted because you decided that one/both of these secondary goals were more important that your initial one at that particular moment. If you would have thought about how your statement was actually going to effect the attendant, you may have chosen a different course of action.
This is the main thrust of preemptive thinking. Each time you speak, you either bring yourself closer to completing a goal, or you move yourself further away. There are NO neutral communications. None. Saying nothing is the only communication that has no value unless it is in response to a direct question. In which case, silence is usually seen as negative.
Preemptive Thinking asks that you look at the effect of what you say has on a goal. Does the statement relate directly to the task at hand? If not, what will the potential drag of the statement have on my goal. If I am not sure, is it worth the risk?
Like chess, try and think a move ahead. If the what you are about to say doesn't help you directly and immediately, then the statement will always hurt you directly and immediately. Always.
The Next Post Promises To Be Better,
James
James
posted by James at 9:47 AM
5 Comments:
Great.
My first two comments are from spammers.
Parasites.
ok so, 1st, I love this post.
But 2nd, I have some critiques.
The reasons for my comments are:
1) to make me look smart
and
2) Open lines of communication for future banter
Ok.
A) Turn on Word verification to discourage spammers.
B) The amount of time spent pre-thinking this issue is counterproductive.
C)The perfect 'tactic' in this instance is to ignore the woman until she turns her light on. This is because my goal is NOT to get out as quickly as possible. My goal is to have as much fun as possible at any given moment. (Lets face it where are we all rushing too?)
So you stand there and ignore the light. Then make hand motions like a deaf person. They will get embarresed and wave you over. You make a confused face and point at the light, they will turn it on. Then you shrug and make the thank you motion (open hand on chin, moving away from face... make sure to overly mouth the words "THANK YOU."
Let them check you out as normal. All the while smiling and noding. Be sure to focus on their lips. If something rings up wrong try and correct them, try and get a price check or something charades style. (Two words... sounds like... 'scratch your head'... lice?... Lice!... 'make checking motion'...etc.)
Ok when you are all paid up. Wave off any help to the car. At the automatic doors turn and yell, "Thanks, goodbye! And for Pete's sake keep your light on!"
This will be both fun and teach them a lesson in being handicapped compliant!
I find that your initial premise is severely flawed. You have made the assumption that people are actually thinking about goals and that they are conscious as they move through life (the grocery line). My experience is that most men are much more impacted by the not-so-subtle attempts by the retailers at appealing to their motivators - glossy magazines, candy, soda, etc. to notice whether the "lights are on" (no pun intended) or not. I must admit that some like my wife are so in tune with the inner workings of the line that they actually have figured out that those wearing different colored vest are "all-star" checkers - not the trainees or slugs that serve me.
No my friend not all of us exercise preemptive thinking - some of us have goals other than getting out of the store. Like trying to justify that impulse purchase or trying to remember why you ended up with seventeen mangos in the basket - " It sounded like a good idea at the time".
Blog on
DJWB
I'm trying to use preemptive thinking right now to leave this comment. Therefore, I have nothing to say.
I'm of the opinion that most decisions made in life are motivated by vanity. Easily 90% of them are anyway. The other 10% of the time, we could possibly be selfless, productive members of society. But that's pretty damn rare isn't it? The vanity percentage could potentially go up, varying per person, but never below 90%. Unless you're Greg Campbell who probably sits around 70-ish.
Oh and delete those spam comments. I hate having to scroll down to view my own. See: vanity.
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