Heterophenomenology

Dear Avid Reader,

I am certain that I don't feel emotions. Well to clarify, I don't feel emotions as deeply as my wife. Whenever something angers her, she feels rage. I can tell the difference. When the sad part of a movie comes, she cries. I feel nothing. I can tell the difference, even if I can't feel it.

Who's Gonna Tell You Things, Aren't So Great?

My first instinct is to think that I am a robot, but I haven't figured it out yet. Like in Blade Runner.

Now I realize that some people may not have seen Blade Runner yet, and I may have just ruined the film. But I don't feel sorry about it. I have no emotions (That and Blade Runner kinda sucks as a movie and I don't think I ruined anything special).

Unfortunately, I have no other robotic features: superhuman strength rockets on my feet, laser palms, jaws that can bite through iron. I've attempted to make giant computations without a calculator, but I can only solve problems well within human ability. But this doesn't upset me. I don't get upset.

And Who's Gonna Plug Their Ears, When You Scream?

Science fiction often depicts robots as preoccupied with "breaking their programming" in order to gain human emotions. Data, Kryten, A.I., I Robot, all are guilty of attempting to go against their internal nature. Asmiov would not be pleased. But if he were a robot, he wouldn't care.

You see, if these robots were aware enough to realize they had no emotions, and they also had the ability to break their programming, I don't think they would go through with it. I think they may feel unmoved about the whole matter. Why would they want to add something to their persona that doesn't help them complete a task? They are machines. They are indifferent.

But let's say a robot does want to make the leap. Let's say I, as a robot, did realize I had no emotions. Should this revelation concern me? If it did, where does one go to get emotions? Do you get new ones or do you just the ones you have amplified? How does a robot break their programming?

You Can't Go On, Thinkin' Nothings Wrong

I realize that not having deeper emotions might make me a shallow person. But that doesn't mean I would be a stupid person. I could still be an intellectual. I do not think I would be a passionless person either. I would still want things and want them strongly. I do not think would be unsympathetic. I would still care for people and care deeply.

To me, there is a difference between sense and sensation. Jane Austen was on to something, even if her books are basically soap operas*.

*It is important to note that my attitudes about Jane Austen works are largely fed by film and TV versions of her books. You might think that doesn't count, but I am not interested in that rationale. I'm a Robot.

Who's Gonna Drive You Home, Tonight?

I wonder if experience pales without deeper emotional context. Can I not understand the world fully without emotion? After all, this is how I truly feel. This is the "programming" that I have been given. Why would I need or want to try and break it? Too often we decide that how we feel is the most important part of a situation. If angry, then it is a righteous anger, we are totally right to be angry. If something is not pleasant, then the something is wrong. "I would not feel wrong if something was not actually wrong," we might say to ourselves. But I think we are confusing how we feel with how things are.

Let's look at something we probably all agree on: often it is right to not seek justice and instead offer mercy, even though justice makes us feel better. This is a struggle for us, but why? Why are we so preoccupied with making sure others know they are wrong? Do we want to be sure that we do the hurting before we get hurt? Why are we treating each other this way?

To me, this proves that caring is not a feeling, but a decision. It often doesn't make a feel better. In fact we feel worse. When conversations turn to doing the right thing we often act as if doing good made us feel better, but how often is this the case? Don't we have to put emotion aside in order to do what is best?

Don't we have to break our programming?

The Next Post Promises To Be Better,

James